Never doubt the power of words. There is a 19th century children’s nursery rhyme that says, Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Bull nuggets and Balderdash! That’s not true! Words can hurt. Words can tear people apart, just as easily as bring them together. Words make an enormous difference in how we communicate with each other. It doesn’t matter whether you are speaking to an audience, to company personnel or networking at an event. In the workplace or at home, electronically or face to face, never underestimate the power of words.
I once heard ‘words’ described as being either windows or walls. As windows, words are positive. They let you see the possibilities and the opportunities. These are words that encourage, excite and stimulate your thinking. But when used as walls, words block open-mindedness and receptivity to new ideas. They negate, discourage and disengage. When these types of words enter our space, we find ourselves pulling back not wanting to fully participate in the task at hand, and communication breaks down.
Whether you are a leader, a manager, team player, employee or entrepreneur you can take the lead in keeping the channels of communication open. The power of words, your words and how you use them, along with your body language and tone of voice in meetings, and in conversation are what signal your openness, approachability, and how respectful you are of those around you.
While we have so many words and phrases at our finger tips that we can use everyday, here are two short lists: the possible and the probable. The first list looks at what you can say to facilitate discussion and understanding; to move and motivate people forward to a new way of thinking. The second list demonstrates how we use words to put people down, on the defensive and push them away from becoming fully involved so they can contribute their best.
Words that facilitate open communication
- I like that. It has possibilities.
- That’s great. We can do that.
- I’m glad you brought that up
- I agree/ I think we can all agree
- Let’s look at what we’ve got and see how we make this work
- We can do a lot with that idea.
- I can see possibilities in that.
- Yes, you’ve got something/ are onto something
- How soon can we start working on this?
- Great job/ Good work.
Words that close door to dialogue…
- The problem with that is …
- Be practical.
- You haven’t considered…
- I can’t see that working.
- We don’t have the time/ the money/ the resources…
- No way will that work here.
- That’s ridiculous/ stupid/impossible
- What were you thinking?
- If I had been doing this…
- You don’t understand.
What words are coming out of your mouth? Are they pulling people up or putting them down? Our communication is largely dependent on the words we use. The power of words can not be understated. Our words have meaning and how we use them impact our relationships, not only for today, but well into our future.