Speaking for success can be as easy as stepping up and starting up a conversation! Does that sound like something that’s easier said than done?
Have you ever suffered from being tongue tied? You want to be witty, you want to be funny, you want to say something but try as you might the conversation around you seems to be flowing nicely without your involvement and you end up just being a listener, ok, that’s polite for “wallflower.”
You go home and kick yourself. Another miserable evening, why did I even bother you ask yourself?
It doesn’t have to be that way. For every occasion there is a conversation and you can be the shining star.
How?
Simple.
Just step up and start up a conversation!
I remember the days when I would be invited to a party by a friend, or to an event at work by co-workers. Invariably, I would say, “No.” It didn’t really matter what the occasion was. While I might know some of the people present, there would be others I wouldn’t know at all. And, even if I knew them, so what? What would I say? What could I possibly do that would have them remember me as witty, delightful and charming?
Instead, I would spend the evening having this incredible dialogue with myself. I would take turns, patting myself on the back for not going, but then feeling guilty and wondering if I should have gone. But if I would have gone, what if I had a mental blackout or what if I got tongue-tied? A circus of What ifs looped around in my mind, and ran my life. One day, I gave myself a whack on the side of the head and said
“Enough already. What are you going to do about it?” (I had just come back from a Brian Tracy seminar and one of his key questions was, “What are you going to do about it?”)
I whipped myself into action. First, I met with a couple of close friends who were, in my opinion, conversationally brilliant and asked them for tips. Next, I scoured the internet for reference material. There are unlimited magazine articles, internet sites and countless books that offer details on ‘conversation starters’ and what to do when it’s time to move into ‘conversation’ wrap up. Three books with mountains of tips, easy to read, easy to digest and easy to put into practice are
o Conversationally Speaking by Alan Garner,
o How to Talk to Anyone, 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes
o And a real gem, The Art of Civilized Conversation by Margaret Shepherd.
I thumbed through the books with a vengeance. Then, one day someone asked me to attend a work-related party. I jumped up, and out of my mouth … shot the word, “yes”. Since that time, I’ve met so many interesting people.
If you find yourself a wee bit tongue tied at the thought of stepping out and starting up a conversation with someone, the next time you find yourself being invited to a party or a a work-related event, take a deep breath, pause and then just say, YES!